Hi, I'm Blake. my big project is a tower defence game called 'Forgive Me My Henchmen'. you play as a typical head 'bad guy', deploying henchmen and sabotaging a building to delay an unstoppable one-man army.
This is going to be one of the tougher blog entries to make, and it's definitely going to be a landmark one. I wrote it last week, but wasn't ready to publish it. My feelings have changed since then, but this is something that I went through. Here is the post in all it's glory:
I've got a lot of news to share:
"Not only did we despise the game, but we googled a picture of your face, and we hate that too!"
On the contrary, every publisher was really cool. They all said pretty much the same thing, which was:
"Thanks for sending us your game - it is just not what we are looking for at the moment, and I wish you the best of luck in the future."
And that - in itself - is okay. Any creative work is usually shit as first, before it goes through tons of iterations to make it better. That's just the grind of the creative process, and there is no way around that. The issue I'm facing is that after hundreds of iterations, I've reached a stage where the game's not good enough, but I also have no idea how I could make it any better.
Even cosmetic changes - or fixing all the glitches - might not necessarily take it from being where it is to a game truly worth playing...and that is why I am stuck. That is why I am also at a stage where I'm seriously considering letting FMMH go.
Fat Thor - minus the muscles, height, beard, and amazing face...Fat Thor, minus the Thor.
I'm trying to get through this Fat Thor phase, and I realized perhaps the first and most important step is facing the pain that is underneath this all.
There are a few thoughts which really get to me:
Facing these thoughts sucks, but it's better than continuing to live in this Fat Thor phase.
In summary, this is not a good time for me, but I'm going to be alright.
Regardless of what happens next, I'm still happy I got to pursue this dream. Despite all this pain, and embarrassment, I have more peace with the fact that I still tried and it failed, than I would have had if I had never tried at all.
And who knows? The gap that FMMH is creating in my life means that potentially I can find something good to replace it with. I don't know what that will/could be, but I'm asking that question.
I don't know what is going to happen to this blog - in all honesty, it might be time to let it go.
Whatever the case, I would like to say thank you to those who - in some way, shape, or form - helped me and/or believed in me. It's been a really lonely journey sometimes, but now and then there were true blessings along the way.
Thanks to those who were there.
K, I think I should end this blog entry now. I will try to create another blog entry next week with another update. Keep well guys.