Hi, I'm Blake. my big project is a tower defence game called 'Forgive Me My Henchmen'. you play as a typical head 'bad guy', deploying henchmen and sabotaging a building to delay an unstoppable one-man army.
This is going to be one of the tougher blog entries to make, and it's definitely going to be a landmark one. I wrote it last week, but wasn't ready to publish it. My feelings have changed since then, but this is something that I went through. Here is the post in all it's glory:
I've got a lot of news to share:
"Not only did we despise the game, but we googled a picture of your face, and we hate that too!"
On the contrary, every publisher was really cool. They all said pretty much the same thing, which was:
"Thanks for sending us your game - it is just not what we are looking for at the moment, and I wish you the best of luck in the future."
And that - in itself - is okay. Any creative work is usually shit as first, before it goes through tons of iterations to make it better. That's just the grind of the creative process, and there is no way around that. The issue I'm facing is that after hundreds of iterations, I've reached a stage where the game's not good enough, but I also have no idea how I could make it any better.
Even cosmetic changes - or fixing all the glitches - might not necessarily take it from being where it is to a game truly worth playing...and that is why I am stuck. That is why I am also at a stage where I'm seriously considering letting FMMH go.
Fat Thor - minus the muscles, height, beard, and amazing face...Fat Thor, minus the Thor.
I'm trying to get through this Fat Thor phase, and I realized perhaps the first and most important step is facing the pain that is underneath this all.
There are a few thoughts which really get to me:
Facing these thoughts sucks, but it's better than continuing to live in this Fat Thor phase.
In summary, this is not a good time for me, but I'm going to be alright.
Regardless of what happens next, I'm still happy I got to pursue this dream. Despite all this pain, and embarrassment, I have more peace with the fact that I still tried and it failed, than I would have had if I had never tried at all.
And who knows? The gap that FMMH is creating in my life means that potentially I can find something good to replace it with. I don't know what that will/could be, but I'm asking that question.
I don't know what is going to happen to this blog - in all honesty, it might be time to let it go.
Whatever the case, I would like to say thank you to those who - in some way, shape, or form - helped me and/or believed in me. It's been a really lonely journey sometimes, but now and then there were true blessings along the way.
Thanks to those who were there.
K, I think I should end this blog entry now. I will try to create another blog entry next week with another update. Keep well guys.
So here's a list of the publisher attributes that resonated with me:
I now have a list of 8 publishers that I am really excited to send my game too. Even though we still have to spend time getting to know each other - and things may not work out - at least I get the feeling that there is potentially a beautiful relationship that could develop and flourish.
Let's hope at least a few of them swipe right on me too.
Woah...been awhile since I've done a monthly update! Let me bring you fellas up to speed!
I'm aiming to have a demo finished by next weekend! This demo won't be for everybody - I'll just be sending to key people working on the project, a select few gametesters, and then afterwards: publishers!
When it finally goes out to publishers, I'll let you know :)
After an autocorrect error led to me telling my mother that my new year's plans were to eat, donk, and be merry, I realized that 2019 would be my 'year of the donk'. What does that mean exactly? I don't know, but all I can say is that this year has been ridonkulous so far.
It's been especially ridonkulous in terms of health.
So far this year I have:
3) Caught the 'Good Boy' Fever: I decided to call it the good boy fever because it hit me hard Friday afternoon, and after leaving me bedridden and sweating all of Saturday and Sunday, I was feeling better by Sunday night - just in time to go back to work...in short, this fever prevented me from doing any of the shenanigans I had planned for the weekend...fuck.
All in all, I've had a really tough run health wise, and it's not even mid January yet.
But I gotta say - collapsing health aside - it has been a pretty entertaining year. I got a new SLR camera, so I'm spending time learning the craft! I'm taking close ups of flowers, I've got plans to shoot a couple of dew drops sometime...I'm going full amateur photographer! I'm gonna black and white that shit too.
I'm also happy to say I've made good progress with the game. It is finally - and eventually - coming together pretty nicely. I'm happy with the game up until about level 17, which is where I am now focusing my mental energy. A second demo should be ready to come out within the next month or two.
It's time to update you on some life stuff and some game stuff.
Unfortunately for me, I had stood on the entrance to an aggressive ant colony. Let me tell you, that was a bad day to wear flip flops...
(on another note, this is actually the third time I've been attacked by ants this year. First time. Second time. I am going to try and make 2019 a year free of ant attacks...that's my only goal for 2019).
Gaming has had to take a back seat while I focus on other things like my job, settling in, and fending off ant attacks. But I usually get to spend an hour or two each day working on the project, and I'm happy to say that even though I can't work on it like I once did, I am still moving forward.
Some of the biggest changes since I last wrote are that:
1) I've put publishers on hold - When I first started contacting publishers, I had a demo of 8 playable levels. Even though they have liked what they've played, most want to see a closer to finished product before they go ahead with anything. So currently, my goal is to make all 20+ levels playable before I contact publishers again. So far, I've developed the game to about level 15.
It has been interesting transitioning from a period where this game was my life, to a period where this game is only a part of my life...I think it has been healthy for me. Even though it has definitely delayed the game's release, it has been good for my perspective.
I am also infinitely glad that I haven't given up (and have no plans to). I know a lot of people are counting on this game being released (which is a big motivator to keep on working on this project), but perhaps the biggest reason why I haven't given up on this project is that - despite the challenges - working on it is a process that brings me a lot of joy. I hope this project can do the same for others one day.
Until then, I better get back to it, and will keep you updated with any big updates 🙂
I know I haven't been doing as much as I should have with my site for the past while. That is because the game's development - and my creativity in general - had to take a back seat while I focused on real life things: job applications and such.
After a couple of weeks of applications, I'm happy to say I was recently offered a job that I'm excited about (and may share more about some other time). With that sorted out, I should be able to dedicate more time to the game again. That being said, despite how hectic this past month was, I still managed to move forward in some cool ways:
Knowing that a bunch of people are behind this game has made me more motivated than ever. I know tower defence isn't the most popular genre anymore, but there are people out there who still love it and want to see a game like this get made - this is something I'm grateful for so I'm going to continue moving forward and doing my best.
On that note, any advice as to how I can get more beta testers? I have a small group of people that I trust, but I think it's time to open up my game to a few more people. There is a reddit group out there dedicated to giving feedback, but it is small...I'm not sure if it would offer enough feedback to be useful.
I am still researching publishers. I am going to keep on editing the demo, and when it is fire flames, send it out to the best publishers I can find. If you've read my previous entries, you'll know that I wasn't too sold on the idea of using a publisher at first, but now I am thinking more and more that the publisher route may be the way to go.
Hey guys, it’s been awhile. This is probably the longest I’ve gone without a blog entry since starting this blog back in Jan 2017!
Anyway, I wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to, and how the game’s been going.
Since coming back, there have been some interesting developments:
1) The game’s core mechanics have changed - As a result of taking such a long break, when I started working on the game again I noticed some problems that I had previously been too close to see. One was that the game got confusing at times - there was too much going on. What I have therefore done is simplify and streamline some of the core mechanics. It has led to a TON OF WORK, but this is good, and these changes are taking the game in a great direction.
I can’t believe how many changes this game has gone through...
2) I’ve started working on a playable demo, and hope to have it completed by the end of this month. A playable demo is a good place to start so that I can get feedback. It is also a good thing to create to help with development number 3.
3) I am looking for a publisher! (or at least, I am considering it). I realized one of the major problems this game faced from the get go was marketing. A good publisher could potentially get this game in front of a lot of people, which is what I need. Who cares if I create one of the best tower defence games if no one ever hears about it or gets a chance to play it? A publisher could also potentially fast track this game’s development by offering support in the right ways.